Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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