Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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