the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
