I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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