It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she smelled like a LAN party
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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