Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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