nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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