how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize