dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
