I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
