Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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