have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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