I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
