Need sex. Gaining weight.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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