There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm sobbing to NWA
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
