I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
