She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
