what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
