Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
