Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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