Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
