Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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