how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
