I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize