He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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