I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
