dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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