And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
