Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
