at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
