how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment