Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.