xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
