so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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