I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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