so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
