You made me cry and you don't even care
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
