may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize