somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize