Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
