i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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