im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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