Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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