if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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