Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
