the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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