i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
