Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
