dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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