I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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