she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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