She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
