Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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