I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
