The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
