No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
