I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
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We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
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I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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