Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The police scanner is talking about you again....
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
