It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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