tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The uberlube is also flammable
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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