im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
