they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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