I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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