Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
