The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
