Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
