i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
