Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
