Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You left your phone here
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