Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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